It’s always the same story with the ‘Boring Karda’; a story as old as her own reflection in her vanity mirror. So there she is, decked out in sparkles worthy of a Mughal treasure (Mongolian suits her so well), criss-crossing Mumbai like an Instagram maharani to attend the wedding of a billionaire who pays the guests at the height of the Bimbo’s hips. Suddenly, disaster! A diamond vanishes into the crowd, and there she is in panic, what a tragedy! What a tragedy! Don’t diamonds last forever?
What followed was a grotesque scene of frantic searching of the ground, and the cleavage of her outfit as big as the chasm at Padirac, to find the lost jewel worth 20 million dollars. She and her sister can’t resist immortalising their anguish in a few well-timed selfies? Between panic and narcissism, the choice is quickly made: in their world, aesthetics always take precedence over reality. Perhaps the diamond, tired of being a mere ornament on the bimbo, preferred to escape. Courage, let’s flee! hoping for a more noble second life under the paving stones of Bombay.
This isn’t the first time that Kim has performed the sketch of the star in distress over a lost piece of jewellery. Remember the tears that flowed like the Titanic in Bora Bora in 2011 over an earring that had fallen into the sea? You’d think diamonds had a natural tendency to run away. And I’m not even talking about Paris, where the star was sausage-farmed, although, to her credit, she hadn’t even been sexually assaulted by vintage wrinkle collectors.
In short, while the Kardashians are mourning a diamond, how many children of families and entire peoples are mourning far more shattered fates? But let’s turn our eyes away from these unbearable realities and focus on what’s really important: Kim has lost a diamond! Quickly, let’s launch a worldwide ‘quest’ to find it, and pray that she can, at last, sleep in peace… Or let’s leave her to her trivialities and turn to stories that are really worth telling. A fakir present would have had this to say, Kim ‘l’idole des Jeûnes’, well, for a fakir, it was good form.
FM